3 weeks down 2 to go

Well...Insanity Max is just that...insane and maximum output...3 weeks down and 2 weeks to go...today was Max Conditioning, straight 45 minute endurance...yesterday was recovery day and boy was that enjoyable....like I said before, i never thought i could do some of things we doing...but don't get me wrong...i sure don't look like the guys on video doing it...but i'm doing it to the best of ability and then some...

here's 2 gems God placed in my life last week and then this week:

1)  last week Monday, i was like...ok, i gotta save some energy in the earlier part so i can last till the end...in essencse, not giving my all so that i can reseerve some stuff for the end...and midway through the workout i realized what i was doing in this workout was exactly what i do with God sometime...i hold out or hold back things from him, thinking i need to have some reserve for the end...like God needs me to hold out or do something for him in the end...i know that He doesn't need anything from me except my desire to be obedient to Him with all things...not just the ones i want to release when i want to release...the next 4 days of workout and since then, i have been giving all that i can from the get go...even though it kills me...but just like my faith and walk...i must release all to Him and trust that His will is bigger than my will for me.

2)  earlier this week and even today...Ellie shared a little bit about it in his blog, cause we talked about it twice this week...i catch myself at times...instead of focusing of being in the moment of working out or that excersice...i'm thinking or planning  out what i need to do for the day, or what i eating for breakfast or whatevers...instead of focusing my will and heart on the exercise at that moment, i let my mind focus on things that doens't need my focus at that time...like i'm there but not really...so we talked about that and realized that is like how i am with God at times...I know He's there and He wants my eyes, heart, hand and life to be focused on Him...and yet, i am only going through the motions....fixing my eyes on Jesus is key in my walk and transformation...yes i may get sidetracked and have ADD at times...but recalibrating my eyes and heart back to Him is key...so just like in the workout...staying in that moment of that excerice is like focusing on Jesus regardless of the circumstance or trials or actions going on around...

this might not make sense to anybody...but it was clear revelation for me...give my all to God and He will do the rest and keep my eyes nad heart and ears focused on Jesus....

finally...my diet...the ultimate battle of principalities...its not great, and its not bad...i defiintely have cut down on the volume and eating better breakfasts..but its the other stuff at times...i really need to break the bondage of fried chicken and other fatty foods....as we head into the last 2 weeks, we start a fasting and praying series tomorrow...so i am going to pray intentionally and seek God's wisdom on why i should fast...in our readings today, Isaiah talked about that..so there is confirmation on that....my diet must reflect my intentions to be transformed inside and out...

Thank You Lord for your faithfulness in me...Lord, have Your way in me....Sean Out!!!  love you all

Day 1 of putting this to paper

On May 30, 2011 I began the crazy journey of doing Insanity with Sean T via video and 2 of the greatest guys in the world...Pastor Ellie Kapihe and Danny Katoa....not really sure of what to expect but looking forward to the challenge...fast forward to today, July 25, day 57 of the overall calender.  we are now in insanity max, week 3 and there is not a day that goes by that prior to working out, i am in fear of what and how my body will react....let me tell you, it has been a blast.  the workouts are intense...and i am doing things i have never ever thought i could do.  most of you know that in August 2008 i weighed in at 384 lbs at the age of 40.  this freaked me out....i was a plate lunch away from 400 lbs (4 bills as i called it).....a walking heart attack waiting to happen....every part of my body was sore, my back was killing me and i was not in good shape, physical or mental.  By Summer of 2009, i was able to get down to 319lbs, the lightest i had been since Lori gave birth to brandi...almost 20 years ago.  the problem, it was on a crash diet...i dropped 65 lbs through crash dieting and working out...but not in shape.  As of last week, 7/19 i weighed in at 340...and have been at that consistent weight for about a month.  however, my cardio and my body is way better that when i was at 319.  my goal is to be under 300 by end of 2011 and not from crash dieting but from a better diet and continued workouts.

don't get me wrong, its been tough getting up at 4:45 Monday to Friday...but the best part of my day is around 6am, when the sweat is dripping from my body and i know i achieved a total body workout.  from there, my devotion time with God is intense and focused, cause my body is prepared for what God is asking me to do. the ups and downs of this adventure has not been easy, but one thing consistent, is that when i put my hope and trust and workout schedule and eating desires in the hands of God..i am able to rely on Him.

the reason i am putting this to paper is to make sure i can look back and see what God has allowed me to go through...this is my testimony based on His will and love for me.  i know that God can use me for anything...and He is using me..but if i allow God to use me in His shape and physical well being...and the inside and outside of this "big gulp" body is in focus with the will of God...He can use me mightily.

Father God, thank you for the friends you have allowed to come along side me.  thank you for opening up my eyes to the unhealthy lifestyle i was stuck in. Lord, give me the strength, courage and endurance to persevere through this dross removal...Lord, have Your way in me.  Amen.