What would 300lbs look like on me?

I got asked this question by my coach/training partner/friend Ellie, about 3 weeks ago..to be more specific...this was the question:

What would being 300 lbs (or under) look like, feel like, be like when I can attain this healthy goal in my life? 

I have struggled with this question since asked...why?  cause every answer i came up with was about what i would like to others...it was nothing about what i would be and look like to God and the real reason why i was doing this...so as of today...i still cannot answer this question in words...because every answer i am getting from my argument in my head is about my selfish sinful depraved nature...no worry.. no more condemnation, just a lot of conviction...as i process through this question, my prayer is that God really reveals to me what and why am i hoping to get to this goal...

on a personal note, i weighed the same weight when i returned from my trip...344 lbs....yet, since being back...and since starting a new healthier menu (no fried foods and no soda, plenty fruits and veges) i was at 340 today....but that's only weight...probably all water...and that is why i struggle with this question...i am more worried about a number than i am the reason....

keep me in prayer as i go through this season...

Blessings to all!!!

Starting over again

diet, diet, diet....the way i eat is the way i am..if i eat bad or i eat good affects the way my body operates....this past week, we went back to P90x with modified Insanity cardio on Friday...did not miss a day this week...did a liquid fast on Monday & Tuesday and it went well..did not fast for diet, but in prayer for some things to be revealed by God...went well...

this week we head off to Santa Barbara for Westmont Parent Council and helping Brandi get settled in for her senior year...will need ot make sure i eat well....

for me, eating is 90% of my effort....when we get back home we (lori and I) will be prayerfully  attempting the daniel fast to change our eating habits and decrease our reliance on food that hinders our health....

praying for God's will in my health, diet, and workouts....blessings to all!

Insanity Max done (for now)...what's next

Well on Friday, August 12, it was the final day of Insanity Max workouts...5 weeks of crazy insane kick your butt, make you want to throw up and do it all over again workout...our gang did not meet that day so instead I did P90x plyo on my own..that's 58 mintues of pretty solid workout moves, but not just the high intensity interval training of max....however, there were a few things that i could not do not or struggled to do in P90x that i could now do better..so max really helped me out....looking forward to doing this program later on this year with Ellie and Danny again...we still recuriting people..Mon to Friday 5am 24 hour fitness Kaneohe..all is welcome to join....

So today, Monday, August 15 we started back at P90x and today was chest/back...wow laulau...haven't used some of the back and chest muscles the last 2 months and my body was shocked...felt good though...per Ellie, we probably going do this for 1-2 months, then go back ot Insantiy again..oh boy...bring it on...

a few things came to mind to me on Friday and today regarding where i was at and where i am now and where i am going on this journey of transforming my body to honor God...

1)  my diet - stil needs to be worked on...eating is a vice for me and a bondage...i'm a emotional eater and instead of taking my worries or stress to God, i take it to chicken katsu, fried chicken..poke..etc...so changing my focus on better eating is one major thing i will be focusing on in this new season...

2)  i've been working out with Danny and Ellie since March i think...and one thing comes to mind..accountablity...and doing this program for each other and for our families..we hold each other accountable to the workouts and there is no condemnation if missed, just total encouragement...its a team/unity thing....these 2 guys have been a blessing to me.

3)  what i could not do before, i can do now (most of it)...when i look back and see how far i have come, from not being able to do more than 5-10 pushups...to disliking up/downs, to wanting to die in the frist week of instantiy...to now where i look forward to the daily challenge...wow...my core is stronger...i don't feel all the aches and pains of my back, or my legs, or just in general...yeah, the muscles are sore, but its a good sore

4)  where i am going - turning 43 at the end of this month and seeing how unhealthy i was 3 years ago, before Brandi went off to college, it reminds me that this journey is not done...i have a long way to go..not just weight wise...60 lbs, but in feeling better so i can operate and live better in this life, in the time i have left...God's purpose in my life is to glorify Him in all that I do...not just my ministry, or my work, or my family, but also in my health...and if i cheat at one thing, i will cheat at all things...so my health is one major facet in my life filled with strongholds and bondages, and I am asking God to help me to release all of the past and live in freedom with Him....

Thank you Lord for all that You continue to do in my life...have Your way in me and in this body...Amen.

Aloha all, post in a week!!!

Sean

Back in the saddle

Well, back in the Insanity max week 5 2 days down, 3 to go...wow...it feels good to get your butt kicked at 5am in the morning...I've noticed that I am no longer fearful of the workout or the grueling discipline it requires...and actually look forward to it...Ellie's good friends Hans joined us this week as he is on vacation...and he is in shape...he cannot join us permanetnly cause hes under 250lbs...lol...but even he has to push true..so i take joy in knowing that i am doing the best that i can and i have improved from week 1.

as for my diet..better but not stellar...not so much cravings or stress eating..just need to be more consistent..did not gain any weight from last week laziness but need to do better on eating lifestyle change vs just trying to lose weight...

so 2 days down, gotta get up in 4 hours and 11 minutes to meet my goal and my intentions...
Insantiy - bring it on!!!

aloha

A week of battling in spirit

Well, 7 days ago was my last post and I was so jacked about heading into week 4 of 5 of Insantiy...well guess what..I never show up for 1 day of working out with the crew...i still worked out on Tuesday and Wednesday on my own and those days felt good, but let me tell you...when you put out your plans to discipline your body for the public to see, in being transparent...I believe, the enemy (satan) does whatever it can to take us out...to blow our witness, to blow our desires for God's very best...

Most of you know the trials we have been under in our work envinroment, and then to add to that some health issues for Lori, and then to add to that the blessings and ministry that God has called me into at New Hope Sand Island, and then to that - counseling of multiple friends and family into God's word and will...and boom, my body and spirit was tired...and the necessary rest in the Lord, the sabbath that is so needed was to late because I was not disciplined enough to rest in God...so on Monday, I was just beat...I slept late Sunday night (early Monday AM) did not even hear my alarm-I think i unconsciouly turned it off...made every excuse not to get up...and did not...so i said, Sean..today you doing one sabbath...ended up being a selfish sabbath..yeah i rested, but the rest was in TV, in food, in laziness..vs resting in God's word, worship and time...so a blown day..Tuesday, same thing-same excuse...but work had to get done..so i went to work, but with no workout...come Tuesday midday and Wednesday, guilt sets in and boy did I need to get to the gym...and i did and i felt physically better..i actually did a 2 mile jog on Wedenesday on the treadmill and it felt great...but then comes Thursday and Friday...no workout at all cause i had to catch up on work...boy talk about "flat tire"....but wait...no condemnation..I believe God was reminding me to rest in Him, not on my own self an own strenght...and i receive that totally well...so on MOnday, I am back in the gym with the guys so we can finish this undertaking strong...week 5 of 5...in the name of Jesus, who has claimed victory for me...I set my eye on His prize and God willing and me being obedietn...will persevere to finish well.

Finally..the ultimate challenge for me - my eating habits..it is safe to say, this past week was not the best..becasue of the lack of discipline ni resting in Him and delaying my workouts...i went back to my old eating habits...no breakfast, big lunches, and ok dinner..i was not intentional in my eating...and it all started wtih last week Sunday's taste of Sand Island...my will power was non-existent...why, cause i relied on my will power and not the will of God...so here it is...i put this past week behind me and consider it not 2 steps back...but a bunch of steps sideways...my eyes must be focused on Jesus and his path for me....

thanks for all the prayers and suppor to all and sharing this messed up week helps me to be accountable to you all...time to ManUp now and allow God's will to take over my insufficient will power...God bless us all and love you all, Sean

3 weeks down 2 to go

Well...Insanity Max is just that...insane and maximum output...3 weeks down and 2 weeks to go...today was Max Conditioning, straight 45 minute endurance...yesterday was recovery day and boy was that enjoyable....like I said before, i never thought i could do some of things we doing...but don't get me wrong...i sure don't look like the guys on video doing it...but i'm doing it to the best of ability and then some...

here's 2 gems God placed in my life last week and then this week:

1)  last week Monday, i was like...ok, i gotta save some energy in the earlier part so i can last till the end...in essencse, not giving my all so that i can reseerve some stuff for the end...and midway through the workout i realized what i was doing in this workout was exactly what i do with God sometime...i hold out or hold back things from him, thinking i need to have some reserve for the end...like God needs me to hold out or do something for him in the end...i know that He doesn't need anything from me except my desire to be obedient to Him with all things...not just the ones i want to release when i want to release...the next 4 days of workout and since then, i have been giving all that i can from the get go...even though it kills me...but just like my faith and walk...i must release all to Him and trust that His will is bigger than my will for me.

2)  earlier this week and even today...Ellie shared a little bit about it in his blog, cause we talked about it twice this week...i catch myself at times...instead of focusing of being in the moment of working out or that excersice...i'm thinking or planning  out what i need to do for the day, or what i eating for breakfast or whatevers...instead of focusing my will and heart on the exercise at that moment, i let my mind focus on things that doens't need my focus at that time...like i'm there but not really...so we talked about that and realized that is like how i am with God at times...I know He's there and He wants my eyes, heart, hand and life to be focused on Him...and yet, i am only going through the motions....fixing my eyes on Jesus is key in my walk and transformation...yes i may get sidetracked and have ADD at times...but recalibrating my eyes and heart back to Him is key...so just like in the workout...staying in that moment of that excerice is like focusing on Jesus regardless of the circumstance or trials or actions going on around...

this might not make sense to anybody...but it was clear revelation for me...give my all to God and He will do the rest and keep my eyes nad heart and ears focused on Jesus....

finally...my diet...the ultimate battle of principalities...its not great, and its not bad...i defiintely have cut down on the volume and eating better breakfasts..but its the other stuff at times...i really need to break the bondage of fried chicken and other fatty foods....as we head into the last 2 weeks, we start a fasting and praying series tomorrow...so i am going to pray intentionally and seek God's wisdom on why i should fast...in our readings today, Isaiah talked about that..so there is confirmation on that....my diet must reflect my intentions to be transformed inside and out...

Thank You Lord for your faithfulness in me...Lord, have Your way in me....Sean Out!!!  love you all

Day 1 of putting this to paper

On May 30, 2011 I began the crazy journey of doing Insanity with Sean T via video and 2 of the greatest guys in the world...Pastor Ellie Kapihe and Danny Katoa....not really sure of what to expect but looking forward to the challenge...fast forward to today, July 25, day 57 of the overall calender.  we are now in insanity max, week 3 and there is not a day that goes by that prior to working out, i am in fear of what and how my body will react....let me tell you, it has been a blast.  the workouts are intense...and i am doing things i have never ever thought i could do.  most of you know that in August 2008 i weighed in at 384 lbs at the age of 40.  this freaked me out....i was a plate lunch away from 400 lbs (4 bills as i called it).....a walking heart attack waiting to happen....every part of my body was sore, my back was killing me and i was not in good shape, physical or mental.  By Summer of 2009, i was able to get down to 319lbs, the lightest i had been since Lori gave birth to brandi...almost 20 years ago.  the problem, it was on a crash diet...i dropped 65 lbs through crash dieting and working out...but not in shape.  As of last week, 7/19 i weighed in at 340...and have been at that consistent weight for about a month.  however, my cardio and my body is way better that when i was at 319.  my goal is to be under 300 by end of 2011 and not from crash dieting but from a better diet and continued workouts.

don't get me wrong, its been tough getting up at 4:45 Monday to Friday...but the best part of my day is around 6am, when the sweat is dripping from my body and i know i achieved a total body workout.  from there, my devotion time with God is intense and focused, cause my body is prepared for what God is asking me to do. the ups and downs of this adventure has not been easy, but one thing consistent, is that when i put my hope and trust and workout schedule and eating desires in the hands of God..i am able to rely on Him.

the reason i am putting this to paper is to make sure i can look back and see what God has allowed me to go through...this is my testimony based on His will and love for me.  i know that God can use me for anything...and He is using me..but if i allow God to use me in His shape and physical well being...and the inside and outside of this "big gulp" body is in focus with the will of God...He can use me mightily.

Father God, thank you for the friends you have allowed to come along side me.  thank you for opening up my eyes to the unhealthy lifestyle i was stuck in. Lord, give me the strength, courage and endurance to persevere through this dross removal...Lord, have Your way in me.  Amen.